A Poem For My Son

this is a little poem I wrote for my son Alanzo, my pregnancy with him was nothing but easy, my bf and i had hit a rock in our lives, and from it we've grown strong, but still there are times i think about it...

 

You don’t know the worst of me,

What beats behind my chest?

You feel my hugs, my kisses, my embrace..

You keep me on the ride.

But you don’t know the struggles I’ve been through,

The emptiness inside.

Sleep my child,

Besos mi amor,

I’ll sing you a lullaby.

 

If ever I am worth anything it’s through your little eyes.

I’m up,

I’m down,

I’m here nor there…

Trying to understand life.

To be the perfect mother,

To be the perfect wife.

Sleep My child,

Besos mi amor,

I’ll sing you a lullaby.

 

I let the past consume me,

The concept of forgiving,

Maybe I love him now,

But you don’t know the hell,

Through the storm I’ve pulled through,

Addiction, hate and lies…

But it was all for you.

Mi Gran Amor,

I’ll sing you a lullaby.

 

When these thoughts creep in I look at how far we’ve made it out that hole,

How the man I love now,

Is nothing like the man he was before.

The man you love and admire,

You’ll never see him at his worst,

I keep those memories in profound crevices in my heart,

I must not think about them,

Dwell on it,

It will tear me apart,

Your minds your biggest enemy,

Sleep now my sweet child,

Come time I forget these sorrows,

For bright and early these memories will be gone,

And I’ll continue on tomorrow.