A Poem For My Son

this is a little poem I wrote for my son Alanzo, my pregnancy with him was nothing but easy, my bf and i had hit a rock in our lives, and from it we've grown strong, but still there are times i think about it...

 

You don’t know the worst of me,

What beats behind my chest?

You feel my hugs, my kisses, my embrace..

You keep me on the ride.

But you don’t know the struggles I’ve been through,

The emptiness inside.

Sleep my child,

Besos mi amor,

I’ll sing you a lullaby.

 

If ever I am worth anything it’s through your little eyes.

I’m up,

I’m down,

I’m here nor there…

Trying to understand life.

To be the perfect mother,

To be the perfect wife.

Sleep My child,

Besos mi amor,

I’ll sing you a lullaby.

 

I let the past consume me,

The concept of forgiving,

Maybe I love him now,

But you don’t know the hell,

Through the storm I’ve pulled through,

Addiction, hate and lies…

But it was all for you.

Mi Gran Amor,

I’ll sing you a lullaby.

 

When these thoughts creep in I look at how far we’ve made it out that hole,

How the man I love now,

Is nothing like the man he was before.

The man you love and admire,

You’ll never see him at his worst,

I keep those memories in profound crevices in my heart,

I must not think about them,

Dwell on it,

It will tear me apart,

Your minds your biggest enemy,

Sleep now my sweet child,

Come time I forget these sorrows,

For bright and early these memories will be gone,

And I’ll continue on tomorrow.

Working at a Mexican Resturant: 10 Quick Things I learned Working at a #Mexican Resturant

Maybe I have avoided the topic, as it seems too much to explain..

We as people usually do that when shit takes too long to explain..

I started working at Corona Village in Laramie,Wy when I was 15 years old...

I stayed there untill I was 20...

Met my prometido there..

Met people that I consider family..

and then here I am 24 years old.. and guess what..

We move to Idaho to help El Pio Pio with the Corona Village Resturant here..

It's my bfs dream..

So I will always be apart of it..

My favorite memories though were when I was apart of the enviroment..

So I figured I'd start blogging more about my experiences.

Here are a few quick ten things I've learned working at a Mexican resturant, I'm sure anyone who has worked in one can relate to this.

 

#1. Songs Get Played Out Fast

If you've never had a fellow amigo scream "MAMA MECHON PRENDAME..MECHON PRENDER" in your ear so often that at night you would wake up screaming and sweating with an echoing of the lyrics than you have probably never worked in a Mexican Resturant. Our cooks were always listening to music in the kitchen and some songs or artist they would play the whole day and night. Before El Mechon it was the "fine fine fine... very good very good very good" song by Julion Alvarez that actually helped many of them learn english.

 

#2. Valentin Elizalde is the best singer alive

Okay not really but the year Valentin Elizalde died I was 16 and I swear we listened to his music for a year straight. I instantly became a fan... even still today... I cant get the tune out of my head..."como me duele...como me duele...como me duele ke te sacan a bailar..." Aussshhhh D.E.P Valentin!!!

 

#3. They are all married

Yes mujeres...

NO ME IMPORTA

LO KE TE DIGAN..

All them sons a bitches are married...(in my redneck voice)

or juntado... or have someone in mexico with ten kids.

Believe me I met men in the kitchen who I saw acted like solteros..

than brought their wives over years later,

then walked around with the guilty.."im a POS" looking on their face.

Happened to my friend Heather.. #pobrecita

 

#4. El Patron is around every corner..

No really my old boss..

"Chano"

I still whisper his name and get sweaty palms when i think about him..

Is literally around ever corner...

So always act like he's there.

Cause he's always lurking around the corners and you better be working your ass off.

One time he had me crying..

okay plenty of time he had most people crying..

But I still respect the man as I would my own father.

 

#5. Love Will Blossom

No joke..

Where there are a bunch of Latinos hanging out.. love will blossom..

I was gonna brainstorm various couples that I know met through the resturant but unfortuantely there exists  too many triangles (re-read the their all married part)..

And well I don't want to be the cause of divorces should someone google my name and find this post lol

Idk why but all these people never heard of "Don't make work your playground"

Apparently I never got the memo either..

Here we are two kids later =D

 

#6. The Drama is equivalent to telenovelas

--or maybe worse.

When I was a server I constantly had to switch sides at the resturant,

 the front dinning room or the back...

Each side had a different bus person that only bussed that side..

The bussers would get pissed off at the servers or the other bussers..

this was one reason behind the drama..

Then everyone was fucking family..

or related in some way...

They'd fights at our nightly games of baraja..

... drinking..

I mean their was an open window for drama..

the list of who hates who was endless...

And some of the rumours got pretty intense...

 

#7 Living Conditions are no bueno

Almost all our kitchen staff lived together..

...no lie..

At one time when i'd go visit Javier there were only three bedrooms.

...and more than double living there..

Generally it was a nasty fucking pig sty--

Eventually they moved and instead took over an entire complex..

There were these two white complexes with four apartments each building..

So that's a total of eight all rented out by Corona Villagers..

However someone made up a rumour about La Immigra going to investigate and they decided to take over the trailor park instead.

 

#8. Everyone has 10 names..

okay maybe not ten but they would invent a shit load of nicknames for each other..

...some that just seemed dumb...

 Here is a quick brainstorm of some i remember..

..Dont mind my spelling..

"Guicho, Bicho, Chino, Tilapia, Pechon, Paisa, Tito, Tigre, Compeita, Toluco, Terror.."

The list goes on and on..but this is what I can remember at the moment.

 

#9. The Slang is not universal

At our resturant in Laramie the kitchen staff and servers always made up different slang phrases or words..

Which I had no idea were not universal...

like "Chupale Pechon"

Which theyd say as like "Go get em!"

Well other people thought you were some sick pervert for saying this.

Not that I blurted it at a dance to my comadre as she went out to dance with some hot guy..

or anything..

 

 

#10 Everydays a baile

No really we would get together in the little complexes I talk of and have bailes..

On a Monday, or a Tuesday..whenever we felt like it..

In the summer and even once while it was raining.. we would have carne asadas and get together and drink and relieve ourselves from some of the stress from every days.

 

These are only 10 of many things I've learned working at a Mexican resturant... only a fraction of the many memories i have made with great people. I hope to blog more about these memories as I cherish them and consider this part of my life one of the most important stepping stones. I met friends that became family through this place and found my one true love. (okay thats a as fucking sappy as hell but u get it!)

 

XoXo

Nikkeya

 

 

 

Contamos Ovejas- #SpanishFriday

Anoche no pude dormir...

Y piense en mi bisabuel Julia...

Una Gran Senora...

Tanto me cuidaba y amaba..

Una mujer divina.

 

Recorde las noches que pase junto a ella...

Recuerdo nuestra routina antes de dormir...

Rezabamos juntos...

Yo por unos segundos...de nina yo no sabia de problemas de adultos..

Siempre espere mientras eya rezo por toda nuestra familia y sus problemas.

Y luego eya siempre me dijo un cuento...

Y no de un libro..

Solo de tu memoria..

 

En su ingles rompido..pero aun entendido...

Ella solo sabia tres cuentos,

3 Little Pigs, Goldilocks and the three bears, and The Little Red Hen.

Despues del cuento.. si todavia no estava dormida..

siempre ella decia..

"Cuenta Ovejas"

 

Un frase que ella recojo aqui en los Estados Unidos.

Anos despues a mis 12 anos me explico ke ella planchaba ropa por dinero,

y una vez un senor la dijo..

"Julia si estas cansada...pero no puedes dormir cuentas ovejas"

En estes tiempos todo fuera mas facil..

Nadien corrio al dr. por medicina de insomnia..

no senor...

Contaron Ovejas

:)

 

Last Night I could not sleep,

 And I thought about mi great grandmother Julia,

A great woman,

How much she cared for me and loved me.

A woman so divine.

 

I remember the nights i spent next to her..

I remember our bedtime routine.

We'd pray together..

I for just a few second.. as a little girl I didn't no about adult problems..

I always waited while she prayed for our entire family.

And than she would tell me a story..

And not from a book..

Just from her memory.

 

In her broken but understood english,

She only knew three stories:

3 Little Pigs, Goldilocks and the three bears, and The Little Red Hen.

After the story if I still wasn't asleep,

She'd always say,

"Count Sheep"

 

A phrase she picked up here in the United States,

Years later when I was 12 she told me she ironed for money,

and one time a man told her,

"Julia if you are tired but can't sleep...count sheep"

In those times everything seemed much easier.

Noone ran to the Dr for insomnia medicine..

No sir..

They counted sheep

:)

 

 

 

XoXo,

La Cabronia.

 

Visit Latinaish.com and participate in Spanish Friday!

Si no lo practicamos...lo olvidamos!

 

 

 



Edition Sanchial- #8 Mi Primer Beso

As I write this I would like you to all envision me at a 10-yrs-old..

... the way I envision myself in my memories...

Somewhat similar to a child Pocahontas with beautiful tan skin and long flowy brown hair...

Because realistically...

pictures in my mother's living room remind me that for one my hair wasn't very Pocahontas like

... at all..

More like Piojosa...

It was long...

but usually pretty tangly from playing in mud and dirt during recess..

...and secondly I was not tan...

in fact I was (AM)  always that "white" Mexican...

the one who always has to tell people I am Mexican because other wise they'd never believe it.

 

Anyways it was at this age, (10)... 4th grade recess...10:15 AM..

(not that I remember or anything)

That I received my first kiss...

Raymond Munoz was his name and he was the first boy I ever liked...

Since 1st grade!!!

We'd go to the skating ring..

SNOWBALL THE WHOLE ENTIRE SONG..

which is pretty impressive at the age ten in mi ranchito..

Especially because Teesha Sybert said if your fingers intertwine when you hold hands that it meant you were in love..

and our fingers ALWAYS intertwined.

Anyways it was fourth grade and I was just looking forward to playing house that recess..

Raymond my husband...

I his wife..

And about ten little basketballs as our children..

Instead in the corner of our brick school building he laid one on me...

And i don't even remember what I felt..

Cause i couldn't feel anything...

I bragged about it for days.

We shared some cupcakes he made me from his ESL class.. and well the rest was history...

Literally because after that we both grew up..

and never shared another kiss again.

But Raymond was my first kiss..

The first boy who made me well aware that I LOVED Latinos..

(except for the one experiment with Wiggers :/ )

and I was destined to marry one who could kiss me like the first time..

Like Raymond Munoz...

and guess what..

Today on Valentines Day...

My boyfriend finally popped that big question..

yes...

me... along with 555,000 mujeres... now a prometida..

-n- while he wasn't my first kiss..

I hope he will forever be my last :)

 

Feliz Dia de Amor y Amistad Amigos...

 

I'd love to hear about your first kiss! Dejalo en el commentario! or shoot me a tweet @La_Cabronisa

Abrazaos...

 

La Cabrona!

Macklemore...Latino?

Take a good look at this man...

Doesn't look Latino does he?

Probably because he is not.

But I remember once when I use to have time to watch the George Lopez late night show, he would often do DNA testing and let white celebrities know the percentage of "Latino" decent they had in them.(He swear Mitt Romney is a Latino..google it..lol)

Kinda like in the Ratatouille movie, Gustavo says "Anyone can cook"

 (been spending way to much time with my three year old)

While in this case anyone can be Latino!(even if is only .5%)

I am for sure this guy is about 3%..

Maybe we'll never know..

 

I first heard his song warming up at Zumba.... (another reason he must be latino)

And I liked the beat...

I thought it was a bit Nako...(another reason he might be mexicano)

But then I started listening to the lyrics..

"I'm gonna pop some tags only got twenty dollars in my pocket"

And all of a sudden i'm reminiscing about going to yardas with my mom and my grandma.

 

Other evidence in this song sugguest he might have some Latino in him.

"Nah I'm just pumped, I bought some shit from the thrift shop"

Now I see my grandmother bragging about her newest item from the thrift shops in Denver..

"Unas jeans... esas de "Silver" $7...tu crees!!"

 

He later mentions sheets smelling like piss..

It reminds me of Christmas...

yes ...

christmas lol..

 Javier told me we needed to put something under our tree so we don't "scratch" the table we put it on...

Like any mexican...we were not gonna go buy a brand new tree thingy they put under the tree (lost for words obviously) 

We went to a thrift store..got a christmas looking table cloth and some reindeer ears for $1.

But really it did smell like piss..

or something similar..

it had that yarda smell.

And i remember that smell from getting clothes from yardas as a young child..

Everytime we'd get back from yard saling my mom threw everything in the washer..

 

There are many other reason's behind my theory of Macklemore's Latino-ish ways.

But I perfer you listen to the song and pay attention to the lyrics..

What do you think?

 

XoXo,

La Cabrona

 

Note: Macklemore is not really latino... this is just some creative bloggin. All you die hard Macklemore fans know damn well he's a "cold ass honky" ;)